


At Home with You

by Quin



Category: Rush (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 06:59:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quin/pseuds/Quin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marlene feels that there should be more to life, but she can't get a grip on what that more is supposed to be - until she meets Niki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Home with You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tam_Cranver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tam_Cranver/gifts).



The social class she belongs to sets the rules and the boundaries that influence much of Marlene's life. There's a lot of reassurance in knowing what's expected of you and knowing what you can expect of others. Marlene likes life being straightforward. Yet, there is something in the back of her mind that disapproves of the way she's being treated like a china doll. Conversations remain superficial as if nobody thinks Marlene could do with more than gossip of who is who and which man she should talk to in prospects of her future. Marlene feels that there should be more to life, but she can't get a grip on what that more is supposed to be - until she meets Niki.

She offers him a ride because that's polite, but what she notices first is that Niki has never intended to attend the party and that he's determined to leave without doing so. There's an edge about him that intrigues Marlene although Niki keeps complaining about her car and her driving. When they changed cars after hers broke down, Marlene is overcome with a sudden urge to test how far Niki is willing to go for her.

When he finally caves in, Marlene feels more alive than she has in the past months. Even though she has just met Niki, she's certain she wants to see him again. Somehow Marlene feels that there's a serious side to Niki that will give her the comfort she's familiar with and which she still needs. Yet the other part of Niki holds a man who will disregard all conventions if needed. It makes Marlene believe that she can go everywhere with Niki but still be with her heart at home.

Upon learning that Niki has realized his wish to become a race car driver without the approval of his father, Marlene sees herself vindicated. Now and then, she comes to a race track with Niki. He never makes her feel less than welcome; he puts such an amount of time and effort into his racing, one would think a woman wouldn't have a place in Niki's life. That's something Marlene admires about Niki – he is able to focus on the matter at hand at any given time.

Even though Marlene doesn't want to admit it to herself at first, as she becomes more familiar with the world of motorsports, doubts start to rear their ugly heads. It's not that Marlene regrets the day that she finally has wedded Niki. Indeed she is strongly convinced that Niki is the most loving and reliable person out of all the Formula 1 racers, if not in all the whole world. When she sees how Suzy's marriage with the notorious James Hunt develops, Marlene's heart goes out to Suzy, but there's nothing she can do about it.

The doubts start to form when Marlene fully begins to grasp how dangerous car racing is. Marlene is often praised for her prudence by her peers, yet a part of her subconsciousness is aware that motorsports isn't common sense. The dreamer in her wanted to have both, breaking free of her background's restriction, but keeping the amenities of its safety. Niki has made that possible. Nevertheless, seeing men get hurt even though they were certain they, not their vehicles, were in control, has caused Marlene more than discomfort.

Marlene calms herself down by reciting all of the good qualities Niki has and which make him better than the rest of the Formula 1 field in her eyes. Comparing him to his fiercest opponent, Niki works longer and harder than James. Marlene doesn’t think that partying with girls and alcohol at every possibility is a sign of determination. That seems to be the reason why James throws up before every race. So Marlene persuades herself that Niki will be safe because of who he is.

Niki has already proved it by winning the championship last year. He wants to win another title, to prove that it was no coincidence, and to show that he's good at the only thing he believes he can do for a living. There's no need for explanations between Niki and Marlene. She understands what racing means to him, and it's not that Niki isn't without fear. During their honeymoon, Niki has told her he has as much to lose as she has.

A relationship requires faith and Marlene has faith in Niki. But still, there are things she's unable to grasp. It's Niki's rivalry with James that unsettles Marlene. James seems so different from Niki, his behaviour, the things James says in public; yet there's something about his character which makes both men unable to let go.

It is only after Niki's horrible accident that Marlene sees the depth of the two men's connection and is able to accept that James is part of Niki's life. It is when she is immensely terrified of losing Niki and James is terrified with her. At first Marlene wants to blame James for convincing the other drivers to race. She wants to blame him that her love has to be strong enough to keep watching while in intense pain Niki prepares to get back into his car.

When she meets James at the track, when he comes to tell Niki about the letter he has never been able to write, for the first time Marlene is able to look past James' surface. Hidden by his laissez-faire attitude and his drive for attention and appreciation, there's someone who deeply cares for Niki. James needs Niki as an antagonist, someone to be his opposite to highlight his own qualities. Marlene is sure Niki has known it all along. And suddenly, she also knows it's not a one-sided sentiment. James and Niki are good on their own, but putting their different character traits side by side brings out the best in each other respectively.

Marlene can't pinpoint the exact time when she began seeing James in a different light. But there's a moment when she loves him for the one thing she had thought wasn't a quality she appreciated in any man: his temper. She isn't at the press conference so maybe it wouldn't have made a difference anyway. Nonetheless, Marlene is unable to find any words to describe how much the reporter's question hurts. She, who has always been the mild one, is outraged on Niki's behalf. She wants to take that guy by the collar and tear him apart until he crumbles. When Marlene turns on her TV again later, she spots that reporter with a swollen face in the background. Nobody needs to tell her that this has happened at James' hand. When they next see each other James smiles at her and Marlene smiles back.

Marlene doesn't attend every race; sometimes she has other obligations and sometimes she doesn't feel like going. But when it's time for the Japanese Grand Prix - the last race of this season, which will decide whether the title will go to James or Niki - Niki specifically asks her to accompany him. In the beginning of their relationship, Niki had once told Marlene that she could come to a race if she wanted to, needing neither to ask him for permission nor to feel obliged to attend. So Niki's request truly means something more than having Marlene watch him drive his race car. Whatever Niki wants to achieve by her presence, Marlene would never let him down.

The weather in Fuji is terrible. Marlene has never seen so much rain; its torrential downpour is nothing like the Nürbugring's predictable showers. It's as if doomsday has arrived, like an ongoing sensation of déjà-vu that doesn't want to leave her. The rain, the decision to race, it's like someone has put the Nürbugring on repeat. She doesn't talk to Niki as she doesn't want to disturb his concentration. And even if she had wanted to speak him, Marlene can't, feeling a lump in her throat. Her heart is heavy; time appears to be frozen as she follows a race that seemingly doesn't want to end. When Niki stops his Ferrari to forfeit the race, it has been the longest five minutes Marlene has ever experienced.

They don't talk before departing from the race track. Usually, Marlene gives Niki the time he needs and lets him start a conversation after he has finished brooding. This once, Marlene has to ask if he is okay. Niki replies that he is, that he's not regretting his decision and Marlene sees in his eyes, in the way he looks at her that he's telling the truth. He has disregarded the convention that racers must keep up a tough appearance no matter what. Back then when Niki had wanted to return to his car after his accident, he had asked Marlene for her trust. She had given it to him and now the time has come where Niki has shown Marlene that he was worth every inch of it. It's what makes their love so special. They don't ask much of each other, but when they do, they can rely on each other.

Niki is all the comfort and the adventure Marlene requires. She is at home with Niki and Niki is at home with her.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my betas for betaing at such a short notice.


End file.
